''Follow your inner moonlight; don't hide the madness'' Allen Ginsberg-

 

This morning I’ve come to realise that I might not graduate at the end of this year. I have a  bunch of work and essays that are incredibly late, half done some of them. I haven’t been out partying or hanging out with friends. I just can’t focus and I can’t stop falling asleep all the time. I tried to stay up, I’m always falling asleep, tried energy drinks and coffee and they help me stay awake but make my body feels sick . Part of it is I get the winter blues and the other part of it is that I’m really just exhausted with everything.

I feel I should apologize to all my friends I’ve been neglecting, but really I think somewhere they must understand and probably take that boat ride once in while.

So I’m leaving for 2 days, in the midst of all this, 2 days of fun. If that can get my juices moving and help me write that will be ideal, otherwise I’ll accept this failure and be delayed a few months in my life. Not that I had any great plans for myself.

I was angry with myself. I cried. I’ve accepted it. Now I’m over it.

I’d apologize for this rant about my self-pity, which I is unjustified for it is all my own doing, but it dawned on me that this is my blog and I don’t have to. Needed to get it out there.

When friends by their friends food. Makes me happy.